Reconciliation
by Meg2
Summary: A short story that reframes the events of "Understanding" from Eric's point of view. Expands on Chap 12 of "Understanding" as well.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: The Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

A/N- This story is a companion piece to "Understanding". If you haven't read it, and the stories that precede it, this one won't make any sense. These stories are a departure from the Sookie Canon.

This story is told from Eric's point of view. If I can even attempt to write from a vampire's point of view, I'm indebted to Malanna's and Terri Botta's work for having prodded me to think with a bite.

Thanks to Kricket for spurring me (in a very nice way) to explore Chapter 12 of "Understanding" in greater depth.

Extremely bad language warning in Chapter 1, early on.

* * *

**Reconciliation**

* * *

But, dear, cling close to me; since you were gone,

My barren thoughts have chilled me to the bone.

-William Butler Yeats, from _Reconciliation_

* * *

I.

He climbed the stairs and strode across the mezzanine with his mind churning ceaselessly. Tonight was the night. Finally. He was steeling himself, preparing to see how bad it was, where he was going to be starting from.

_I'll get her back. No matter how long it takes. Even if it's true that she's with some fucking fairy, she's mine. Who the hell even knows what she's thinking if she been with the fae. Look at what Niall did a year and a half ago. No. Until I hear from her that she wants someone else, I'm not going to believe it. And even then, she's still _mine_. I have fought for her like a fucking warrior, paid a fortune in fines for Clancy and I _will_ make her see reason. He was a bastard anyway. He never respected her the way Pam or the others do. Even if she was upset, which I am more than willing to admit, that I made her read him and then I killed him, he was no big loss. He would have sold her to the highest bidder if he could have. She has to see that. I hurt her. I know I hurt her. In more ways than one. But he would have done worse. Fucking Irish Bastard. I never should have let him near her after what Niall had told us. I should have gotten rid of him as soon I found out about her heritage. What choice did I have but to kill him? Did she really not understand that? Maybe she really didn't see what could happen. She can be so naïve. For all her smarts, and she is so damn smart for a relatively inexperienced person, she sometimes just doesn't get the way the world works. My world, even _her_ world. Or maybe it's just that she doesn't _like_ how the world works. She's always trying to make nice with them at the club. She acted like she almost liked him just because he stopped being so fucking insulting. He didn't really respect her as my bonded partner. I could have fucking killed him for that alone but she just hates that attitude. Always trying to get me to make nice and not throw my weight around for her benefit. Always having to do it behind her back. But this time there was no way to keep her out of it. She was so upset, so angry. I wish I could stop seeing her face like that in my mind. When she slapped me. When I threw her back in the booth. When… when she got hurt because she fought me. She is always fighting me one way or another. What kind of woman that size and in her right mind would even _try_ to fight with me? And I was trying to be careful. Damn table. I can still hear the sound. I wish I could forget it. I felt how it hurt her. But she kept on trying to fight me, even when I tried to scare her. So fucking stubborn and on important things, where she needs to just follow my lead. Fucking feisty creature. But this time, so angry. Angry and shocked. She looked like she hated me. She wouldn't look at me. If I could pick one time_, one_ fucking time, where I could have glammed her that would have been it. She looked at me like she didn't know me. Like she didn't know what I was or what I do. She's seen me do stuff like that so many times, but this time, this time, she just… Alright, it's true that I forced her to give him up. But she has to see that I was right to force her because I already thought the fucking bastard was probably going to sell her out. She got all freaked out when she was in his head because that's obviously _exactly_ what he was thinking. That's proof, right there Sookie, that once again, I'm right on these things. But I guess she thought I should reason with him or some shit like that. Always with the fucking questions and trying to do things her way. Her fucking scruples about not using her gift to get anybody killed unless _she_ thinks they should be killed because she's seen in their head and they really deserve it. Well he fucking deserved it. I knew it from the moment he blurted it out in front of Thalia that the bastard was going to be a problem. Even Thalia knew he was a problem and she thinks humans are like blood bags. Maybe she'll remember Thalia telling her that what she did could cause her problems. Thalia gave me that look like she'd choose Sookie over Clancy any day. Fucking _Thalia_. Even Thalia likes Sookie and she doesn't like a damn thing. How bad would it have to be that Thalia would choose Sookie over a vampire? Thalia thought it was _fine_ that I killed Clancy… But Pam and Sookie think Thalia is a little over the edge. Okay, forget Thalia. Pam can tell her what Thalia thought in a way that makes it sound reasonable. Pam with her attitude about taking things too far with Sookie or not waiting until I had Sookie out of the club to have her and Maxwell kill Clancy. Well, hindsight is fucking useless and I wanted him dead before he started speed dialing anyone. And Pam has such insight into 'her friend' and how I wasn't skillful enough to keep Sookie from knowing. The woman is a fucking _mind _reader, remember? What did Pam think we could have done about that? And then talking to Claudine about how upset Sookie is that I killed Clancy and the other four and that it was so traumatizing. She's lucky I didn't do more to punish her. I did what I had to do to keep Sookie safe. And she was safe. She just had to run to Claudine and that asshole brother of hers, and to Niall. The fucking fae family from hell. Well, at least Niall knows I'm right. At least he got it and told me I did the right thing, as if I need his fucking approval for taking care of my bonded partner. But he agreed with me. So help me if she is with that fairy, who ever the fuck he is, if Niall knew about it and didn't tell me… and fucking not responding to our calls since they saw her on her birthday. Only that message that she was coming back at the end of July and going to stay somewhere else until the summit. Who the hell knows what she was doing over there, wherever the hell they had her in Ireland. Well, her little Irish vacation is over, obviously, and she'll come home after the summit. Even if it's to Bon Temps not Shreveport, I'll still be able to get her back. If she's with that fairy, I'll be very careful how I kill him, so that she won't know. She's grown so clever that it's hard to keep things in the dark. Maybe Pam could do it. But they said he was huge. No, I'll have to do it, and find a way to keep it from her. If it's really true. Bill seems so sure it's not true. The shifter says it's not true. But when Pam talked to the witch and her teacher, it seems less certain. Fucking Alcide with his attitude last week. I could have killed him, ripped his fucking throat out right there when he told me he heard she was with someone else. I was so close to killing him. Pam shouldn't have pulled him away. "Your woman". My fucking wife and bonded partner! I will find a way to totally screw him over if it's the last thing I do for mentioning her in that way in my presence or even at all. The shifter has known her the longest and he said it isn't true. Bill said that he thought if she wanted to break with me that she'd tell me to my face because that's what she did with him and what he believes she did with that tiger cocksucker who almost got us all fucking killed. I can't believe he actually touched her. I will never forget that day on her porch where I was so close to killing him. Another one of the many times I held back so she wouldn't be upset. I hope she fucking cut his heart out when she broke with him. He did help Pam. She would want me to remember how he took good care of Pam. Fine. Forget him. He's not the problem. Bill says he is sure she is not with the fairy and says that she is faithful. She was faithful to him. But then she broke with him. What Bill did to her was wrong. But I was just protecting her, which she can't possibly think of as being like what Bill did to her. She can't hate me for that. She's had time to get over it. Plenty. I'll get her back. Even if she hates me right now. I'll change her mind. She's mine. She knows that she's mine and she had even gotten to the point where she liked it. She will like it again. She will forgive me and realize that I was just doing what I needed to do to keep us safe. I'll get her back._

He entered the ballroom and could see her sitting on a low chair near the Pythoness, up on the stage. It was true then, that the Pythoness was making her some sort of judge. Felipe had told him earlier that evening that he had heard a rumor about it. How embarrassing was it to have his King telling him what was going on with his bonded partner? Felipe had told him in private. One of his lawyers knew the Pythoness's judicial attorney, Nikolaidis or whatever his name was. Felipe had never asked what was going on, as if to spare him the embarrassment. It was still unbearable. What he had to take for this woman. But he'd take it, to get her back. He drew closer to get a better view.

He drew up sharp. She was… the same, but different. It was true, what the witch had told Pam. She did look taller, and so much thinner. But she was luminous. She looked otherworldly, overlaid upon her human form. And he could feel…. Nothing. Nothing from her, still. She was so beautiful. She still looked sad. She must have seen him come into the room, but she didn't even look at him.

_Fuck. If this is where I'm starting from, it's not… Fine. This is where I'm starting from. Fine._

The Pythoness made it official. She's really going to be a judge. What did she learn when she was in Ireland to make her a judge, he wondered. A judge over vampires and other supes and humans. She has ties to so many. It makes sense. It is much needed.

_Sookie would be a good judge. She is a very fair person. She will be fair with me, when I explain it again. She will listen. What is wrong with the moron asking questions of the Pythoness? You almost have to cheer her for hitting him. They are leaving. I could go to her room. But she has guards at the door according to the bellhop. I could still try to see her. Is that guard coming toward me? Her guard? She wants to see me at 11 pm in her room. He isn't going to Pam or to Bill. Shit. She wants to talk to me alone. Perhaps that is good, because then I can try to persuade her again to see my side. Unless she's asking me to come alone because she's really breaking with me. But she can't. We are too bonded. She's had too much of my blood to ever get _me_ out of _her_. I made sure that bond was as tight as it could be short of turning her. If she tries to break with me, I just won't fucking let her. I will resist. I will tell her I will wait for her no matter how long it takes. I will ask her about the fucking fairy …._

"Are you doing okay?" Bill was looking up at him with narrowed eyes. "You look like you're getting on one of those jags where you start getting really negative. You need to stay sharp. Stay positive."

"I'm fine." _I'm not telling him. I don't need any advice from Bill or from Pam on how to talk to her. I know her better than they do. She's my bonded partner, my wife. She has to listen to me. She will listen. If she's really with the fairy, I'm going to fucking drain him dry. I don't care how big the bastard is, or what Niall will say, I'll kill him. But I'll have to be careful so she doesn't find out. If she found out, it would be another disaster. She's my bonded partner, my wife. I should have the right to kill him but she won't understand that. Fucking fae. The whole fucking damned race. They better have taken fucking _perfect_ care of her if she was with them in Ireland. What is with letting her get so damn thin? She was already getting thinner before she left. I was continually on her about not skipping meals. Was she with the fae or was she with some Tuatha Dé person? Niall wouldn't tell me a damn thing about what she was doing. "Getting well. Growing stronger." How fucking strong is she if she's this damn thin? Even if she's doing magic like Niall, they should still force her to eat. Who knows what those damn fairies eat on their own, anyway… _

"Eric, you really need to snap out of it. Remember that Felipe said that he needs you to cover for him at midnight with Louisiana revenues." Bill looked at him as if he knew he was immersed in the same swirling mental cesspool he'd been in for the past ten months.

"I'm **fine**." _I had better snap out of it because if I go near her thinking this shit she is going to know it in no time. "_I'll be back by midnight. I have to go do something upstairs."

The demon knocked on the door as an inside door could be heard closing.

"Come" he could hear from inside. Her voice sounded mostly the same but had a different timbre in a way. The demon swung open the door.

_I can do this. I can._

She was standing but motioned to him to sit.

"Thank you for coming."

She looked nervous.

_She's too thin but she's even more beautiful. Maybe it's just missing her so much. She was always so beautiful. I just want to drink her in. Literally. She smells so good. It's even as if I can smell her blood. She would be a good enough reason to still breathe… just to have her scent inside me. I could look at her all night. Devour her with my eyes._

"Are you… alright, Eric? You're so ashen. If you prefer to talk later, I understand."

_Time to begin. I will let her know of my sacrifice for her. That I will not have another in any way in her place. I wouldn't even let Pam drain someone into a glass. I only want her._

"Ten months of synthetic blood does _not_ do a body good."

_Now I have her attention. She probably thinks that it is impossible for me. But I am determined. And I'm not afraid to let her know that._

"I am back for a few weeks before I return to Ireland. I am still not completely well. But I suppose more to the point is that I realize…"

_I love this woman but I hate it when she rambles on like this. What is she saying? Get to the point. She looks so nervous… why is she nervous talking to me? Did I really make her afraid of me? The only time I've hurt her and that's what she remembers?_

"I realize that I am changed from when we made our bond. I would understand if you wanted to diminish the bond so that you could be… happier."

_Diminish our bond? Making me happier by further damaging our bond? What the fuck is she talking about? What is she up to? If this has to do with trying to get rid of me for that fucking fairy, so help me…._

"I mean it as a genuine offer Eric. It is _not_ a strategy."

_I can't take this shit. What kind of fucking game is this? Do not tell me that you are with someone else. Do Not. _"Who's the fairy?"

"I beg your pardon?"

_She looks confused. Is she confused or is it that she's surprised I know about the fairy? _"I have heard that you are now with someone else. Who is he?"

_She looks troubled. But she doesn't look guilty. She is blushing. She looks… upset._

"Eric, Ciarán is basically Claude's _boyfriend_. I don't know who told you I am with someone else but it's not true. I've been celibate. As I said, this isn't a strategy or a ploy. I want you to be happy."

_I knew it! Fucking Alcide piece of shit. I am going to screw you over like you have never been screwed. I am going to ruin you. I'll destroy your life and _then_ I'll kill you. Slandering my bonded partner, my wife, you fucking piece of… Stop. I have to stop. Stay focused. She's been celibate. She didn't want to be with another. She is still mine. I have to figure out a way to make her see that she is mine, without making her feel like I am trapping her into it. She hates feeling trapped by me. She likes to feel she is graciously letting me have her. And what the fuck could she possibly think that she could do with our bond? Our bond is as good as gold. How could she possibly think that I don't want to be bonded to her? Is that what she is saying? Getting rid of our bond would make me happy? _"You propose eliminating the blood bond we made not once but twice, as part of our marriage, and with all of the exchanges that we have had, to make me _happy_?" _She has _got_ to be kidding._

"I'm asking if it would make you happi_er_, yes."

"Even if it would, how could you possibly diminish our bond? You'd be hard pressed to find a stronger bond than ours, Sookie." _I will just leave out the part that she is like drops away from being turned if I chose to disrespect her wishes, which I won't. If this is some magical trick she proposes, I'll just remind her of Niall's little backfire and say that she could really end up hurting herself or me. That should make her think twice._

"I could become bonded to Pythia. She's 2,362 years old. I think that her blood would supersede yours in a bond, even with all the exchanges."

_What The Fuck? Is she serious? Is she fucking serious? With the Ancient Pythoness? She _has_ to be kidding... Unless this is some magical psychic thing. What the …? _"Do you _want_ to be bound to her?"

_She won't even look me in the eye. She does NOT want to be bound to her, or to anyone else. But that doesn't tell me that she still wants to be bound to _me_. What is her agenda with this whole thing? Is she trying to break with me, then?_

"I'm not talking about what I want. I'm asking what you want. I know you have been very unhappy. I don't want you to be unhappy."

_I've been unhappy because you've been gone for ten months. Because the last time I saw you, you acted like you hated me, were never going to forgive me, were sorry you married me, bonded to me, probably ever met me, and I've had no real blood or any sex for the entire time you've been gone without contacting me other than our anniversary where I saw only your eyes and you still looked like you weren't too sure of me and you didn't even speak. Fucking don't want me unhappy. What would you think I would be? I really wonder if this is what Bill was talking about. She's moving toward breaking with me. She says she makes me unhappy so then she dumps me to spare me further unhappiness… some kind of bullshit. _"If you want to dump me, why can't you just tell me straight out?"

"I'm not trying to dump you. I'm telling you that I realize I am not the person you married, the person you bound yourself to. I'm offering you an easy out. A way to move on."

_She has got to be kidding. Move on? Like HELL I'll move on. With the amount of work and blood in this relationship, move on? You're MINE. This is pissing me off. How could she actually think that I want to be out of this relationship, this bond? After everything I went through to get this relationship to work? It would make me _happy_? Torrid makeup sex with a generous serving of femoral blood would make me happy. Waking up with you riding on top of me in my bed would make me happy. Feeling you run your fingers through my hair when you think I'm still asleep would make me happy. There are many things I can think of that would make me happy that do not involve you severing the only thing that I have of you right now. Even you forcing me to apologize would make me happy, because it would be a start. _

He stood up abruptly. "If you want to make me happy, come home. Make me grovel and ask your forgiveness. Make me feel bad for having hurt you in order to keep you safe. For forcing you to do something you had always fought to avoid doing. That would make me happy. But don't ask me if I want to get rid of the only thing I have left of you."

_This is just crap. She's mine and she still loves me. She wouldn't have spent all this time coming up with all this crap if she didn't think she had to protect herself against me _because_ she still loves me. Look at her. She doesn't even know what to say. It's like she rehearsed it all in her head and it didn't go the way she planned it. This is just pissing me off. I know her every move. She hasn't changed so much that I don't know how to read her. I don't need the damn bond to know what she's thinking or feeling. I studied her every move and thought for long enough to know better._

He moved toward the door. _No. I'll tell her I know. I KNOW she still loves me and she is just going to have to get over it. We are wasting time. Unless these fucking fae or tribespeople have found some way to extend her brief mortal life, we are wasting too much valuable time on issue of Clancy's fucking head. Ten months. Ten fucking months!_

"Whether you let me feel you or not, I _know_ you still love me, Sookie. I don't need a blood bond to know it. I know you do. You're wasting valuable time. We don't have hundreds of years to work it out, unless more has changed than just what I can see."

There was a knock at the door.

_Fucking Pam. Go away. Now. Leave. I've still got 30 minutes before I have to be downstairs. And I need more time here._

She moved past him and touched his arm. Her scent just drew him. He couldn't resist pouncing on her. Her lips were soft and yielding. Just as he thought he could really hold her, have her, and she swayed as if she was weak in his arms… she pushed him away.

_Feisty woman. Just like two years ago after Rhodes, pushing me off her. How many women have ever pushed me away? She could not be more opposite to a fangbanger if she tried. When you've won her you know you've really won something. After Rhodes she had to fight herself to resist me. But now she seems…truly ambivalent. This is going to take deft handling. She can get so damn skittish._

"That's Pam outside."

_Well you may be the telepath, but I knew that well before you did. And she is ignoring my every thought to go away _"Am I dismissed?" he asked.

"No, if you want to stay, you can stay. I just meant…"

_You are so mine, Sookie Northman, and I will stoop to any means to get you back._

Sookie opened the door, nodding to the guard.

Pam broke into a smile and hugged her. Then she took in the fact that he was in the room and seemed to hesitate.

"I can come back if it's bad timing. This was just the first I could get away."

_Bad timing? Go away and leave me alone with her._

"No, it's fine Pam, don't be silly." Sookie took her hand and led her into the room and avoided looking at him.

Pam looked uncomfortable and seemed to get the idea she was really intruding.

_You're intruding and ignoring every thought I'm beaming you to leave._

But Sookie coolly ignored him and sat down with Pam. Was she listening to him, he wondered? She gave no sign if she was. He was calmer now, in Sookie's presence, than he had been in days, maybe months. It was as if the volume of the ceaseless rant that had seized him was finally turned down low. He just stood there looking at them. Looking at her. Glaring at Pam.

_Damn her! And I can't do anything to her because if I do Sookie will get mad at me for punishing her friend. _

They began to chat in all that girl chatter, which would have been charming if not for his thinking of how he wished he could punish Pam for not leaving. But, in the end, Pam was at least making herself useful by asking all the questions he should have asked but didn't.

_County Meath, that vampire free zone of Ireland. So she has been with that tribeswoman Eithne then. The Tuatha Dé woman descended from Brigit twice over. What is she? 300 years old? Probably one of the most powerful descendants of the tribe still living, other than Declan. I've heard legends and stories of her. She's a healer but she possesses many powers. What was the name of the place where she lived? The Sanctuary in Irish, the __Cúl __Dín__. If Sookie was with her… perhaps she is more powerful than I realized. That makes sense because the Pythoness has put her in charge of something quite difficult. Has she really already learned to control the magic she had? That night when she started to go after those two other Fellowship guys she had seemed as if she could have tapped into something very strong. But it was so dark. Not Sookie-like. If she could really control it _well_, she would be much safer than with me protecting her alone. And if she was very powerful? As powerful as Niall? More? Well, it doesn't matter. She loves me. She is still mine. The more powerful she is, the more she will need someone who loves her for who she is inside. That, as I know well, is hard to find. That's part of how I'll get her back. Why does she need to go back to Ireland? For how fucking long? I won't think about that now. I have to focus on getting her back to me before she tries to go back to Ireland._

_What is she doing with Pam? Pam looks upset. Pam is still messed up from Memphis. Sookie is right. What is she doing? She glows like she did that night, but she looks peaceful. Look at her. She's luminous. She's so beautiful. She _is_ even more beautiful. It's like she's pulling it out of Pam, but painlessly. And Pam is letting her. She could never resist Sookie, ever since Rhodes. Sookie has her completely loyalty. Pam was so angry at me for how the situation with Clancy was handled even if she won't say so anymore. Talking to Claudine after I forbade it. She's lucky I didn't kill her. But she did find out where Sookie was. And she agrees that Clancy had to go. Let's hope she tells Sookie how right I was.  
_

_Now what is she doing? She's got that look she gets when she talks to Hunter or that Barry. Is she talking to the Pythoness? She's definitely talking to someone in her head. I know that look well with her. Pam is looking at her wrist. What is that? What is that cut? It looks like it's over a vein..._

"I'm sorry. I was distracted for a moment." She looked flustered.

"What did you do to your wrist?" Pam asked looking askance at the cut.

"It's nothing." She rose and went to the dresser, opening a drawer and withdrew a cuff bracelet, which she put over the cut.

_If she's giving blood to someone I want to know about it. As it is, she's so thin, when I get her back, I'll need to be very careful. Who would do that to her, with her beautiful skin? Who would take blood from her and leave a mark on her like that, so that she might scar. There's only one scar that should be on her wrist and that's the one from our bond. She wanted that one. She will never forget me now that it is there. Even if she tried._

He came up behind her and slid the bracelet off her arm and looked at the cut. He held her wrist with his other hand and traced the fine scar from their marriage bond with his thumb. He felt her shiver.

_Still mine. You offered to make this bond. You knew what I was. Maybe I was wrong to have covered up so much of my life. Maybe then the shock would have been less if I hadn't. Damn cut. That's going to scar if she doesn't get it healed._ "You gave blood to someone. Why? And why did they not heal you?"

"It is none of your business. It doesn't matter." She turned and retrieved the bracelet from him then placed it back on her arm. "I'm afraid I must go next door. I have to prepare."

_It is my business. You're mine and I don't want anyone touching you, let alone leaving marks on you. _"I could heal it for you," he said looking down at her. He still held her wrist gently in his left hand. He didn't want to let her go.

"That won't be necessary," she said brusquely, withdrawing her arm from his hand.

She left the room.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: The Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

**Reconciliation**

II.

Bill sent him a text message at 2:40 am.

_You've got to see this. You can't believe what she can do. Maybe she's stronger than Niall. Never seen anything like it._

He collected Pam and they ran into Victor on the way to the room where the hearings were being held. The room was packed. It was hard to even to find standing room. He stood behind Pam, in the aisle so she could see better, but from wherever you stood, you could see the vampire pinned up against the wall, surrounded by a ring of flames in violet, the same violet flame that Niall had her put around the Pythoness's bracelet back after Memphis.

Victor asked someone what was going on and they said that the vampire had insulted her and the Pythoness when they started at 2 am and that she'd slammed him up there and told him to shut up or he'd drink from a straw for the next year. Eric looked at his watch. It was just after 3 am. She'd had him pinned to a wall for an hour, surrounded by flames? While she decided all the other business? Every time the guy started to fight again she slammed him harder into the wall. It looked like she did it effortlessly, not even pausing while speaking.

At 3:30 am she dropped him from the wall and threw him out back to the defendant's chair. He was covered with soot, singed, and still had no sense. The Were gave his case and it sounded like one of those that would end up with the vampire on the sharp end of a stake. Feeding on minors? Sexual assault? Finally just before 4 am she asked the attorney Nikolaidis about the vampire's sire and said what should be conveyed to the sire, then she passed her judgment. Following the brief statement, she merely pointed her hand and spoke something softly in what sounded like Word and the vampire was gone. _She'd_ _incinerated_ _him_. With the Word. Silence filled the room. All around him, people were stunned. Few knew or had seen any really powerful fae, and probably fewer still the Tuatha Dé Danann. They didn't know the power they held. This had all looked effortless for her.

_She made it look easy. She kept him pinned to a wall surrounded by fire for an hour and a half while carrying on asking questions and looking actively engaged. As if she didn't even have to focus her thoughts on doing it. If this is what she could do while she was clearly focused on settling other business, then Bill is right. She's probably more powerful than Niall._ _I haven't seen anything like that since Declan, hundreds of years ago, when Declan forged that peace during the last of the fae wars. He could hold everyone in place while speaking to a few. She's not far off from that. That actually gives me pause. Declan is a time weaver. What exactly has Sookie been learning with this Eithne? Well, it's irrelevant for right now. Stay focused._

She rose gracefully and everyone stood. She left the room. He followed after her, and Bill caught up with him. But guards wouldn't let anyone in the elevator with her. She nodded to them. Victor and Pam caught up with them. Victor wanted to go see her and thought she'd see him because of they're being cousins. They rode the elevator to the 15th floor.

_He's such an ass. I just can't believe he's her cousin. Such bad luck. She was really robbed on the family situation, other than Claudine, who's okay. Between Jason, Victor, Claude and Niall, it's unbelievable… What is he saying? I can't believe he's so proud of himself. He's so lucky Felipe liked him and hasn't taken it into his own hands and wrapped him in silver for a few centuries. Can't wait to see what comes of the judicial case. I know he'll find some slippery way around it yet again. How the hell does he do it time after time? Luck of the Irish… if I hear that from him one more time I'll smack him and I don't care if he's styling himself as King of Mississippi. I'll tell him I'm hitting my wife's cousin, which is no less than he deserves. Oh yes, by all means, you go first. She's only my bonded partner and wife, Victor. Cut in front. Sure. Idiot._

Victor then proceeded to make a total fool of himself outside her door. He looked genuinely disappointed that she wouldn't let him in. She told them all to go away and said she was resting. She clearly knew the four of them were there, which meant she'd know if he was still there after the others had left. He waved Bill and Pam off and then waited, leaning against the wall across from the door to her room. Luckily, room service was delivered. After the server left the room, she stood in the doorway in her pajamas and just looked at him. With a slight frown, she walked away from the open door.

He sat on the couch and let her eat.

_If that sandwich and water are all she's having, it's no wonder she's so thin. That has to be fixed as soon as possible. She doesn't eat when she's unhappy or worried. But that's what she ordered so it's not because I'm here now. She's just in general unhappy. I can see it. She needs to laugh. To go dancing. Whatever they're doing with her- all of them- it's not all she needs._

She rose and put everything back on the tray, then sat back down on the edge of the bed, looking at him somewhat apprehensively.

_Now I have to play this carefully, so she doesn't get upset. I can start with the obvious. She has developed tremendous skill in only ten months._

"It seems like you made a lot of progress in ten months."

"Six months. For the first four months I was too weak to do anything other than garden or weave."

_Well then it's all the more impressive. But why does she have to go back? And will she realize she is still mine before she leaves? Can I keep her from leaving? Keep her with me…_

"Why do you have to go back?"

She looked away. "I want to go back. I need to learn more. But mostly I need the restorative time. It was very peaceful. I didn't speak at all for the first two months. It allowed me to forget that dark voice in my head. And to try to forget your voice, your words to me."

_Shit. She is just not going to let it go. She is not going to forget it. And she is definitely _not_ over it. I'm going to have to find some way around her attitude about it._

"How long will you stay this time?"

"Eric, I don't know. Honestly, I really don't know that I can live here now. Live a normal life again. I don't know, even if I could live here again, if I could live with you again. I think you should really consider what I offered."

_Ten months and I'd almost forgotten how incredibly stubborn she is. Her offer. Her fucking offer to further screw up our lives. I'll tell her what she can do with her offer... I'll… I have to be nice. Firm. Resolved. Clear. I have to clearly let her know I will NOT be letting her go. At all._ "Let me spell it out for you again, clearly. I will _**never**_ consider what you have offered. I am bonded to you and I want to be with you. I will wait."

She shook her head and gestured with her hands as if she just didn't know what to say.

"Eric, I don't think that we could ever go back to the way things were between us."

_Well, that's obvious. It's certainly going to be harder to argue with her if she throws fire when she's angry. But maybe the new Sookie won't need as much sage advice since she's been under the tutelage of that Eithne. Maybe she'll be more circumspect or at least better able to protect herself. As long as we're together we don't have to be the exact way we were before. She is still mine. But she has grown. I don't care, as long as we're together._ "Then they will be different. But we will still be together. We will be. I know this." He said this with complete confidence.

She looked confused at his confidence and then closed her eyes and seemed to go someplace else. It was as if she was trying to remember something. She sat there, on the edge of the bed and he looked at her as if he could devour her. The pajama top had an invitingly low cut v-neckline. He could hardly control his desire for her, her perfect breasts, the warmth of her blood. Then he noticed the two necklaces, hanging around her neck. The longer of the two hung down to her cleavage. Suspended on the end of the chain was her wedding ring. She still wore her ring. As she had at the beginning, on a simple chain.

_You can tell yourself whatever lies you want, but you are still wearing the ring I gave you, Lover._

He moved swiftly and silently onto his knee before her and took up the chain.

_Tell me that you're not mine. Just _try_._

Her eyes flew open to find Eric on his knee in front of her, holding the chain with the ring.

_She _really_ did not like it that I moved so fast. She is trained to be watchful now. Good. But she still trusts me to have let me get so close to her. It would be obvious by now if she didn't. I have to be gentle to meet that trust._ "You still wear it. You hide it, but you still wear it," he said in a whisper. His eyes shone.

She pulled it back from his hand. "You should go, it's getting close to dawn."

_I don't want to leave and I'm not going to._ He put his hands on the bed, on either side of her and looked her in the eyes. "I don't want to go. I want to stay with you," he said, still in a soft whisper._ What ever it takes._

"Impossible. You should leave. Now."

He stayed in front of her, fixed. "I won't touch you. I swear it," he said in a hushed voice. "Don't make me leave."_ I can't _believe_ I just said that…. Stupid, stupid. How the hell am I supposed to stay here and _not_ touch her? Whatever it takes? What was I thinking?_

"If you even _try_ to touch me, I'll throw you out. Are we clear? You can stay, but no sex, no blood, no arguments, no justifications, no reframing things. I need to _sleep_. You can _sleep_ here. That's it."

_So this is the new brand of torture. Naked in a bed with her and no touching, no talking. I can't believe I said I'd do this… I won't touch you…?_

She immediately seemed to be reconsidering the whole idea. She looked agitated.

"This is a _bad_ idea. _Such_ a bad idea. What was I thinking? Shit! I really think you should leave," she said pacing.

_Oh no you don't…_

He was already in the bed and his clothes were everywhere on the floor on his side.

She sat down on the couch looking at him warily, drew her legs up to her chest, and rested her chin on her knees.

"I'll wait until you fall asleep," she said cautiously.

With ten months of no real blood, perhaps she was considering the safety of the whole thing?

_I am not Bill. I know what I'm biting. I've never hurt you when I'm hungry and I never will._ "I won't hurt you. Even when I wake. I can control myself. You know me."

"I won't even be here when you wake. I'll be with Pythia. She wakes before dusk. We talk. I have work to do."

_Well, if she_ _thinks I'd force myself on her she's forgetting everything she knows about me. I've never had to force myself on _any_ woman. I'm not even dignifying that possibility with a comment. _

The sheets and pillows smelled like her. It was overwhelming. He buried his face in her pillow and was still.

Ten minutes later, after checking the clock and her calendar to confirm that it was just past sunrise, she crawled into the bed. She looked at him and gently brushed some strands of hair away from his eyes. Turning out the light she nestled down in the sheets and picked up his hand, holding it in hers.

He squeezed her hand gently. She jumped and let out a gasp.

"Eric! You are _such_ a pain in…"

Interrupting her before she could even finish, he murmured "The feeling is totally mutual," before slipping away.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: The Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

**Reconciliation**

III.

He awoke to her heavenly scent. Even though it wasn't really possible, he felt more rested than he had in months. He glanced around and realized that indeed, she was not in the room. The bed and pillows were imbued with enough of her scent to make him hard. He sighed. He was making slow but steady progress. He had to make sure to build on the previous night without pissing her off. Just enough of the exuberance she loved without crossing the line.

_I'll look for her downstairs. I'll find a way to spend another night with her. There's a limit to her self-restraint. If I can just get her into bed, I'll pillow-talk her into coming back to me. I got her to agree to marry me in bed. She listens to me when we're in bed. This is true. _

Just thinking about it was stirring. And she was taller now. It opened all sorts of interesting thoughts of different things to try. The considerable difference in heights had been delightful, but always posed a challenge for some things. For instance…

_No! I need to stay focused on just _getting her back_. Getting her back has not been easy, but it is going well. I can't get distracted. It's not about blood. It's not about sex. It's about her. _

Time to move. He needed to feed. Another day with bottled blood, but many steps closer to the only kind he cared about from the only source he cared about.

_What has she done with my clothes? She went to the room to get fresh clothes? Why? Pam is still going to know I wasn't there and that Sookie went in the room. What is her plan with this?_

He dressed and left the room. He went to his empty room and had a bottle of blood. You could clearly smell Sookie in the room. But she had thrown his clothes from the previous day at the chair near the bed with amusing brio. Pam would not have been fooled, however.

After checking in with Felipe, he was free for the time being. Felipe ran such a tight ship that just about anything that needed to be done was done before the summit even started.

He ran into Bill, who seemed to sense something was up.

"You seem a lot more chipper. Progress?"

"I'm fine."

Bill frowned and shook his head. "And giving out lots of information, too, I see."

"Have you seen Pam?"

"She was off talking to the Texans about Stan. Near the bar in the lobby."

He left smiling.

It was easy, once downstairs, to track her to the garden café. The scent of Sookie and demon was easy to follow. The demons stood guard by her table. She was drinking that tea she liked.

_She looks so beautiful but so alone. She really seems like she feels very alone. Even if I can't feel her feelings, that's what I see. _

He sat down across from her.

"Bad idea," she said.

He leaned back in the chair, one leg crossed over the other, with a smile on his face that didn't waver with her comment.

_I'm ignoring that. You held my hand. You played with my hair. You are mine and you act like I'm yours, in spite of everything you say to the contrary._

"Good evening to you too, my Love."

_She is so beautiful. I want to hold her. Taste her. She is breathtaking. I'm going to devour her when I get her back._

She leaned forward and said, in a low voice, "Go away and leave me alone. For your own good. It's not safe for you."

_Bullshit. Not safe? The café looks fine although quite a few people appear to be interested in watching us. Fucking gossips._

He signaled to the waiter and ordered a bottle of O neg.

"Eric!" she practically growled. "It's really not in your best interest to be seen with me right now."

What_ is she talking about? Where is the danger? Anybody that I couldn't kill, she can incinerate. In fact, it could save me a lot of energy._ "Am I really supposed to feel unsafe with two demons, you and my own set of skills?"

"Three of us won't be with you all the time."

_I'm supposed to believe what? We're being hunted? Here, in a hotel with the Pythoness, who has decreed that you are her prized asset? Please. We couldn't be safer. _"A risk I'm willing to take."

"A risk that you'd take for both of us, then," she said sourly, staring at him with genuine frustration.

_That is more than a little ironic coming from you, Lover. The quintessential you don't think you need protection person and now you're all over me like a bad rash that I'm at risk because I'm with _you?

Her wrist caught his eye.

_So help me, I'm going to get rid of that thing before another night passes. Pisses me off. Who the hell was she giving blood to when she's bonded to me? Her blood is mine. _"Who did you give blood to?" he asked in a low voice, leaning forward.

"It's none of your business. I already pointed that out. Is your memory impaired?"

_She's so damn sassy and sarcastic. And I am just warped enough to enjoy it._

"Why would someone allow you to leave with a mark like that? I want to fix it." _And I'm _going_ to fix it…_

"I'd consider letting you if you leave the table. Take the blood and leave. Now."

_What an opportunity... _"I'll come to your room when you're done for the night."

It was hard to tell if he had been too enthusiastic. But from her expression, she wasn't rejecting the idea at all.

Then she slammed her hand on the table. "_WOULD YOU GET AWAY FROM MY TABLE? LEAVE ME!_" She motioned to one of the demons and he stood next to him with his sword drawn as a clear indication that he was to leave at once.

He stood up and nodded soberly. And then he winked. He turned and walked away, quite light-footed.

_Well, I'm going to hold you to your words, Lover. I can't believe I am willing to have her being so disrespectful to me in public. But if it gets me another night in her bed, I'll take it. I'll get back at her in bed. She'll end up begging for it. Some people are staring. It will all be forgotten when I have her back on my arm again… Now that she is so powerful, her occasional arguments with me will appear less damaging. On the contrary, I'll look even stronger for daring to fight with _her.

Fifteen minutes later, he saw Pam and Bill in discussion across the lobby, glancing furtively in his direction. Bill was shaking his head. Pam took off in the direction of the café. Clearly word of their 'argument' had spread. Bill started walking toward him cautiously, trying to read him before he got too close.

"Bill?" he nodded. _Don't give me that look like you pity me. Maybe you got dumped but I am not going to be._

"Do you have any feedback on the issue of the European database that you want me to relate to Felipe before we talk publicly about the November launch tonight?"

_Total bullshit question, Bill… _"No." _Why don't you just ask? Do I look like I'm going over the edge this time?_

Silence.

_Alright, I'll tell you. _"It wasn't a real fight, okay? She's just worried or something. Things are fine," he said.

Bill looked at him as if he wasn't sure how to proceed. "I hope things improve."

_Fine Bill. Fine. I owe you. I admit it. _"Things are just fine. You were right about more than just the fairy. It will all be fine. Things are going really well."

Pam returned and looked from Eric to Bill then back to Eric.

"Maybe we should stick together for the night. Sookie seems worried that something's up. She implied… How unpopular do you think this decree of the Pythoness's, is really? We all know Sookie and love her. Everybody in Felipe's and Victor's camps like Sookie. We all think she'll do a great job. But that's only four states. She seems to think that there's a real element out there that would like to get rid of her, and that it might bring harm to you," she said looking directly at Eric. "She's _really_ worried. She told me to keep you away from her."

_It is so incredibly annoying that sometimes she will tell Pam more than she will tell me. And it isn't just a recent thing. What is it with the two of them? _"Things are fine, Pam. But sure, I'll stay with Bill and you for a while. We have to keep the database sales booth covered, right?" He rolled his eyes at that one.

Bill and Pam looked at each other.

_You two don't have a clue. But I'll play for a while, sure. It will make Sookie happy to think that I listened to her and to Pam. Fine._


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: The Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

A/N- Siobhan is pronounced sort of midway Shi-vawn and Sho-vawn.

**Reconciliation**

IV.

At 4:10 am he sat waiting in the lobby, not far from where she would exit when she finished. He had been there since 4 am. Isaiah of Kentucky had just entered the hearing room after passing by and giving him the sourest of looks.

_As if I care. I wouldn't even live in a state with you in it and neither would half the people who are here in this hotel. I never could fathom how Sophie-Anne managed to stay on pleasant terms with you, you miserable prick. It's a wonder you can keep anyone working for you given your nasty reputation of leaving people hanging out to dry. Fealty is a two way street._

Five minutes later, Isaiah was exiting the room snarling. One of his minions was waiting outside and they huddled off in a corner briefly then Isaiah took off for the mezzanine by way of the stairs.

He saw her exit the room and stood and started walking toward the elevator at a fair clip so that he could justifiably get into the elevator before her. He didn't think she'd allow the guards to extricate him. He was sure she'd let him stay there with them.

As she drew closer he smiled. Another night with her and…

A field of energy suddenly seemed to wrap around him like a wave of cool mist. He could not move forward.

_What is this? What is she doing?_

He turned around inside the misty energy to look at her. But something caught his eye before he could glance at her.

Level with the center of his chest was… a stake? Frozen in midair. He glanced from it to her. The look on her face- first, some sense of recognition and then it became contorted with… _fury_. He had never seen her look quite so angry. She glanced up at him, looking at intently at his eyes and then turned. By then her entire face looked wild. As if her eyes were lasers she seemed to trace the stake back to… the vampire he had seen talking to Isaiah?

_Isaiah wanted to kill us. He wanted to kill Sookie. He wanted to kill her and have her die watching _me_ die…_

The energy field around him intensified and turned violet. He could not have escaped it if he tried. She held him fast and secure. Nothing could touch him. And then she began.

Isaiah's vampire assassin was drawn to her and cowered before her. He suddenly began shrieking. Whatever she was doing, it was without touching him. There was no evidence of outward harm.

_What is she doing to him? Is she in his mind? Ugh, the screams… He deserves it. Bastard. But I could tell her he's with Isaiah. If she asked. Too late…_

Finally the vampire crumbled to the floor in front of her. Thunder began to rumble through the lobby of the hotel and then a dark voice spoke Word. That was his _wife_? _His_ bonded partner? His eyes widened as he looked at her. She had turned dark and the patterns normally of pale blue began to shine like sunlight, blindingly bright. Isaiah appeared almost to float his way down the stairs from the mezzanine, as if impelled to her. She seemed to grow in height to meet his eyes once he was in front of her. He could see Isaiah filled with fear, almost quaking with it.

"Is he yours?" she said, with a commanding voice that echoed like thunder, pointing to the crumpled, moaning form on the lobby floor.

Isaiah simply stared, eyes wide with fear. He did not even respond. People all throughout the lobby, on the stairs to the mezzanine and looking over the mezzanine balcony were riveted to the scene before them. She looked like something from another world entirely, her hair swirling around her, her eyes wild with anger, larger than life, dark but with brilliant light emanating from her.

Then she let loose with a roar that Eric had heard only once before in his long life, on a battlefield hundreds of years before. A roar that had stopped vampire and fae in their tracks and which had echoed like a cataclysm across the field of battle. It had been uttered by Declan's daughter Siobhán, in response to the loss of her fairy lover. A roar of vengeful rage. Declan had intervened to weave time back, recover the lover and then he forged an end to the war with his great power. No one went against them. They were elusive, but so powerful. They had inspired great fear.

The air grew dark and swirled around, as if she was encasing Isaiah in a storm cloud with her while she roared. The walls of the hotel vibrated, shock waves rolled across the floor under his feet. The sound was terrifying. He was insulated from the full effects inside the misty cocoon. People watching recoiled, covered their ears, turned away. Isaiah fell to his knees before her and then… she simply stopped. She stared down at Isaiah and smiled as if somehow satisfied. She turned and walked back toward her shimmering cocoon of energy. She pulled the stake out of the air and threw it on the floor toward Isaiah.

The energy surrounding him dispersed and he felt her touch him lightly on the arm to draw him forward toward the elevators. They entered the elevator and he glanced at her. Her color was returning to normal but her eyes lingered on Isaiah. The doors closed.

_This was so different from the other times. She has saved me before but never like this. The rage… the _out_rage. She is so powerful... Yet so controlled. She didn't kill him. He will wish she had. So many people saw it. They saw him totally bowed with fear by her. Completely disgraced. What she did is better than killing him, maybe. Easier on her conscience and yet worse for him to live with. … From what she told Pam, she knew that something would happen. She tried to tell me earlier tonight that it wasn't safe for me. She could see things I couldn't. Or she could feel them. I should have known. I should have listened to her. I didn't take it seriously. How… ironic. Given our history of arguing about the same thing the other way around. How utterly ironic..._

He noticed that she still breathed heavily and suddenly realized that he felt just a corner of her emotions. Whatever energy she had put into filtering his access to her feelings through their bond, it was waning. Triumphant. She felt triumphant over something in herself.

_You have mastered something in yourself. That dark voice, that power. You used something that Declan's daughter used to rock a battlefield of thousands._

He was simply in awe of her.

The elevator doors opened on the 15th floor and they began to walk toward the room. The Pythoness's handmaiden Zelda was waiting in the hall outside the open door to the Pythoness's suite. Sookie handed him the key to her room and seeming to steel herself, moved forward into the Pythoness's suite. He now felt waves of exhaustion from her as she moved forward. And more.

_It made her weak. It completely wears her out. She doesn't like to use it. She doesn't like it. But she was willing to use it to protect me. Who would possibly try to harm her through me again after seeing that? Even hearing about it may be enough to warn people off trying to go after her at all. Let's hope so, because it takes so much from her._

He entered her room but was too restless to sit down. He began to be uneasy.

From the room next door he could hear the Pythoness scream "… _he has crossed ME!_" He could hear muffled discussion on the other side but he was mostly affected by stronger waves of feeling complete exhaustion. Hunger, thirst, physical weakness that felt like trembling.

_She completely drained herself doing this. She needs sustenance. I should order her food and the water she likes._

He called room service and ordered the same sandwich and the water he'd seen her have the previous night. As he hung up the phone, she entered the room and closed and locked the door. She looked as if she was on the verge of fainting. She was so pale, so drawn.

He said "I ordered you the grilled cheese sandwich and more water. I didn't know what else you would want so I just got you the same thing I saw you eating yesterday."

She simply nodded and then seemed to collapse onto the bed. He sat down next to her. She seemed to be elsewhere, as if her body was here but the rest of her was far away. He looked at her wrist. He touched it and she did not respond. He bit his index finger and spread the blood over the scab, rubbing it gently until the wound began to disappear.

_This was very different from what she did last night. This was much more complex and demanded so much more of her. She may be powerful but comes at a heavy price. Look at her. She is so vulnerable. She trusted me enough to let me see her like this. To see what it costs her. She was willing to share that with me. She trusts that I can keep her safe while she recovers from it. But it is worrisome that can do this to her. She can protect herself, us, but I doubt she could sustain it for as long I as can keep fighting. Or if she did… what would it do to her?_

He stroked her hair. He lifted her gently and began to undress her.

_She's so beautiful. But so fragile…_

She was so thin. But she was more lithe and muscular than she had been. As he took off her bra he was suddenly puzzled. Where was the scar? The scar on her side from when she was staked in Jackson? It was gone. Her skin was smooth. He drew off her slacks and looked for the scar on her shin, which she had told him she got while bicycle riding with her friend Tara as a child. Nothing. He looked at the other leg just to be sure in case he remembered it wrong. There was not a single scar anywhere. And then he understood why she thought the wound on her arm was irrelevant. Wherever she was in Meath with this Eithne, it healed her. But she had kept one scar. The one on her wrist. The one from their marriage bond. If all the others were gone, she must have kept this scar by her own will or desire to do so. His throat tightened and his eyes welled with tears as he looked down at her.

He carefully pulled her pajamas onto her and nestled her into the covers in the bed and sat watching her. From the moment that he had first met her, when Bill had first brought her to Fangtasia, he had thought her fascinating. He had grown to find her seductive, fiery, feisty, intriguing, brave, utterly unique. To him, she had been magical even before she had magic. He had been caught as if in a spell by her. He had worked to gain her affection in a way he had done for no other. He had earned her trust many times over, but then he had betrayed it once and she left him. But she still loved him, enough to protect him using a side of herself she didn't even like. A side which was dark, and which she had feared. Which appeared, looking at her now, as if it would consume her if she wasn't very careful. She had embraced it to protect him. Her expression when she had looked in his eyes had made it clear she was doing more than protecting herself. She was willing to do whatever it took to keep him safe.

_In that, we are more alike than we are different…_

The room service arrived, and he tried to rouse her gently. She had to eat, even if she was exhausted. It would help her recover.

"Sookie… Sookie, you need to wake up, your food is here. You need to eat."

She sat up in bed looking disoriented. She seemed to absorb the fact that he had undressed her and put her into the bed, but slowly. She didn't seem to mind.

He brought the table near to the bed. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and stared at the food as if willing herself to eat. At one point she glanced intently at her wrist, and he could see her taking in that he had removed the mark. Still, no comment. After forcing herself to finish the sandwich and a bottle of water she just crawled back into the bed. He moved the table away.

He undressed, turned out the light and got into the bed, shifting her to the middle of the bed. He wrapped himself around her and pressed his chin softly into the nook between her shoulder and her neck.

As she fell back to sleep in his arms the remaining wisps of energy holding back her emotions from him seemed to fall away. He was washed over with a flood of complete desolation.

_She feels totally and completely alone… No wonder she doesn't eat, and she still looks sad. She feels separate from everything and everyone she loves. No joy. No laughter. Being apart hurt her as much as it hurt me. But she also had to accept all of these other things changing in her life. I only had to accept her absence and the questions it created. I minimized her suffering and said it was just anger. In the end, her suffering was greater than mine. I still had my life as it was, with Pam, and my work, and Bill telling me it would all work out. She was with a kind stranger and she had things to accept that she feared, following on the heels of what she felt was betrayal by the person she loved and had trusted most. And yet still she protected me, not as if it was her life at risk too, but as if someone had tried to harm the one thing she loved. She has never fought for herself the way she fights for those she loves. Her love leaves me in greater awe than any magic she could ever do…_


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: The Sookie Stackhouse Series is the creation of Charlaine Harris. Don't sue me Charlaine! I love your books.

**Reconciliation**

V.

It was 8 pm. Still at least a half hour before the sun would set. Madison was so far north.

He pulled her gently into his arms, and sank back against the pillows and headboard. Where to begin? In the end, it was so much more complicated than _mine_ and _getting her back_. Although outwardly, her abilities made her seem much more powerful, she had willingly shown him how fragile and short-lived her ability to sustain that power could be. She had tremendous power at her hands but it came at a heavy price. He reflected on the fact that her use of magic that fated September night had likely weakened her. And then they had fought and he had injured her. He had been surprised that her healing had appeared slower than he would have thought. The bruises on her throat should have disappeared rapidly but they had not. He recalled what she had said of her time in Eithne's care. She had been weak for four entire months and needed to recover. And Eithne was a famed healer. That kind of magic can damage her, he concluded.

In his mind, the picture was clear. She still loved him, and still needed his protection and care. He could see, however, that she also needed things he could not give her. She would need to go back to Eithne.

_Letting me in this room with her when she was like that shows that she still trusts me. I know she still loves me. Those were the things I wanted most. I can take care of her. But she needs to go back to Ireland, and I'm going to have to let her. I said I'd wait, and I'll have to do it. We'll have to find a way to make it work. We just won't be wholly apart again. We can't be. But I need to let her do what she needs to be well, to be safe. There has to be a way to make her safer if she uses this power. If not, she simply shouldn't…_

He would have to let her work through to the same conclusions. Sookie always did best when she felt she had the space to get there on her own.

She began to stir slightly and then she was awake.

"It's just after 8 pm," he said softly.

"You're awake early. It's still twilight."

"We went to sleep early.".

Suddenly, she seemed to realize that he could feel her through the bond. She started to pull back from him, both emotionally and physically, but he held her firmly and gently in his arms.

"No," he said in a firm low voice. "I want it back. You won't take it from me a second time." _No going back to that. The whole bond. All of it, and all of you._

"It's better that way," she said softly. "Really."

"There's nothing better about it." He held her close. "You feel so… alone, Sookie. Utterly alone."

He could feel her catch her breath. She was on the verge of tears, struggling with feelings that she didn't want to share.

"I am not alone." She paused. "I have Eithne. She understands. She's patient. It doesn't affect her. "

"You have me." _And I am not leaving your side unless you are safe with her. No more being alone. It isn't healthy for you. We've already seen that before. Now, more than ever, we should be together unless you go back there to her._

"I make your life more dangerous, Eric. My being apart from you might make your life safer and easier. And what channels through me is… terrible at times. It's a burden that should not be shared, even vicariously."

_Well, being apart is just not going to work for me. At all. _"You have made my life dangerous since I first met you, Sookie. That is nothing new. We'll protect each other. I cannot stand being apart from you again. It would not benefit either of us to even try. We will not be totally apart again. We just won't."

"You're not afraid of me, Eric?"

_No, my Lover, no…_"I am not afraid of you. I know you will not hurt me. To me, you have not changed in any fundamental way. I am bonded to you. I _want_ to be with you. The only things I have ever feared with you are how much you made me feel and losing you. We are still together. We are."

She sat tensely in his arms for several minutes, and he could feel her mind racing through so many emotions. Then she sighed softly and leaned back in his arms. She was still silent for a long time.

_Almost there…_

Then finally, "I forgive you. It's just going to take longer for me to forgive myself for all my self-deception. I did _not_ accept you as you are. I lied to myself. It was wrong of me. Because it was wrong to you. I hope you can forgive _me_ for that. I love you, Eric. I never stopped loving you. It wasn't what you did, but _how_ you did it that hurt me most. I felt you broke my trust and that made me distrust myself. I was shocked into seeing things that I did not want to see in myself, and in you. I always saw you as so focused on self-preservation. I didn't like it and I told myself that I would avoid seeing that part of you. But I have underestimated you, your commitment to me and the reasons why you do some of the things you do. I know how much it must have cost you to do what you did that night."

"You will _never_ know how much it cost me. My only goal since has been to win you back. I have replayed that night in my mind, every night since, many times over. Even though I know I did the right thing, the fact that I hurt you to do it… I just kept hearing it. The sound of your ribs breaking against that table. I kept seeing your face. It tormented me."

She leaned into him, rubbed her head against him. "You need to let it go, Eric. What you said in the car, that I would come to understand, in the end, you were right. You were also right about Clancy and what he was thinking. I didn't want to see it, and I've tried to forget it. I have come to accept the fact that sometimes the best option is still a horrible one. I needed to trust you more, not less."

He was still for a moment. If he had breathed, he would have held his breath.

Finally he said, "You will come back to me?"

"We belong together. Eithne would say we were destined to be together. But I just know the truth of what you say. We _are_ together, Eric. I really don't think I can ever be happy apart from you."

He closed his eyes and just savored her words.

She turned in his arms and stroked his cheek as she pulled his face to her and kissed him firmly. His hands tentatively slipped under her pajama top and held her around her waist. She straddled him and they kissed with increasing urgency. After he slipped her top over her head she held his face in her hands and smiled at him.

"No requests for any possessive pronouns?" she said softly.

"I'm not pushing my luck."

Her laughter was like music and she looked happier than he had seen her in the days she'd been here.

"I'm yours," she said softly, looking directly into his eyes.

He rolled so that he could be on top of her and he looked into her deeply into eyes. He looked at her with such yearning, such hunger. She felt him hard pressing against her and sighed with her own longing. But first she gently guided him to her breast. After several minutes of rapturous attention he bit into her left breast gently and she heard him moan with the pleasure of it. It was hard to say who felt more pleasure in it. She felt him struggle to pull himself away. Then his hands were everywhere making her moan softly, urging her on. When he bit the soft flesh of her inner thigh, which she had always loved, she stifled a cry. Finally he moved into her and she gasped, pulling him to her even more. He moved slowly at first and then with increasing intensity, while their eyes locked onto one another. He was puzzled by how quiet she was. No matter how he thrust into her, she didn't make a sound. When they were done, as he healed the bite wounds, he asked why.

"Pythia is next door," she said softly. "I know she knows, but I don't want to seem too obvious about it. It would be unkind. She has always been much more alone than I've ever been."

"She's the one you gave the blood to, isn't she?"

"Of course. She was just bored and losing her appetite. Thousands of years of the same, she said. Just thinking about what her life has been like, well... She has been kind to me, Eric. I will never be able to repay her kindness. She took care of me, with little benefit to herself. It seemed like a small thing."

_Generosity has its limits. She has her handmaidens…_

"Eric… Honestly. It's _my_ blood, remember? Even though Sookie Northman is _so_ _yours_." She started to rise.

He froze. She paused in the midst of getting up, realizing.

"Don't worry. It was only when you were practically shouting it or totally in my face with it. But you were right. If you'd done anything to Pam, I'd have been mad."

She kissed him on the nose and left the bed to shower. How much had she heard he wondered? He was afraid to ask. It didn't matter anyway.

She was his. They were together. True partners.

He rose to join her in the shower. The wedding ring was coming off that chain and back into a location of more prominent display.


End file.
